MONDAY MUSING - What to Do with the Boys, Part 3
Over the past few weeks, I have been examining the looming question of how to handle the boys' education next year in a three part series called What to Do with the Boys? Part One and Part Two are linked.
I certainly hope this is part 3 of 3, and that the wind you might be feeling in your own corner of the world is a collective sigh from me and everyone who has listened to me chew this topic to death exhaling.
Sometime in between me writing part one and two, Hayden started making more noise about returning to school, until the rumblings became a definite roar. I picked up the application and financial form, while visions of khakis and approved collared shirts danced in my head. I imagined trying to come up with four gluten-free lunches a week that could leave with him in the morning, not need to be heated up, and still be tasty at noon. I wondered about things like bedtimes and alarm clocks, which we haven't had to worry about for a year, and about impromptu trips for the paperback book tour or for HN International...
Being tied to the schedule and regimen of a school year; honestly, it isn't what I would choose. But it is what Hayden chose, and became adamant, even insistent on as last week drew to a close.
"You won't even have to do anything! I'll get up on my own and I'll just ride my bike and do all my homework and everything without you even having to ask me!" His reasons: so he can be with friends all day, and because there is a science lab at the school.
As I put together his portfolio and see 490 photos of Hayden out in nature or in front of museum exhibits and landmarks all over the US, as I read his blog posts, I confess I am a little disappointed that this adventure is ending. Hayden wants to be with his peers all day, what I imagine is an age-appropriate development. I applaud his ability to make a decision and wonder what new kinds of learning and development will happen for him in 4th grade at his old school.
Max, in a surprising show of independence, maintained his desire to keep learning at home. I go back and forth on this one, but for now, I will continue to put together learning groups with peers and YBC and finding things that will keep him busy, because you know being separated from Hayden for 7 hours/day will equal one squirrelly little brother.
Piper will go on to her next year at the preschool which is in the same campus as Hayden's school. A bonus: she will no longer be the only member of the family 'going to school'--something she has started to question.
It feels peaceful to have decided, so that the Virgo in me can start to envision next year. What it means is our lives will have more of a lot of things. More structure. More writing time for me. More time to exercise. Also, I think with a twinge, more time apart. Less freedom.
What we will be losing: Mondays like today, where I scrambled eggs at 8:30 for breakfast as they slowly rolled out of bed and clambered next to their little sister on the couch. As they clucked over and examined her painfully emerging molar, I set up the boys' math sheets around nine. Hayden claimed growing pains and went off to shower instead of finishing his work while Max industriously tackled his. Then it was time for two hours of gymnastics and pick up lacrosse with the home school crowd. After denying H's playdate request on the grounds of unfinished work, back home to finish Hayden's math and both of their reading time while I worked on printing out their old blogs for the portfolio. Lunch and then an inspired moment between the brothers when Hayden did what J and I haven't been able to for the past two years--taught Max to ride a two wheel bike in the perfect May sunshine.
Hayden: cheerleading and fist pumping. Max hooting: I finally conquered my fears! Both with grins as wide as their little faces.
Followed by more brother bike riding, Hayden teaching him the fine art of the skid and off-roading. Followed by challenging each other at brain teasers, visiting with my Dad, and then friends who stopped by to jump on the trampoline. Together, they changed the water for their tadpoles and went to check out the progress at the garden, and try to get a closer look at a new Canada goose who has just built her nest nearby. On the agenda for tonight--making pizza and family swim, then out to Rita's for water ice to celebrate Max's accomplishment.
Perhaps I romanticize this too much. These moments, long days like this won't disappear--and maybe they will be sweeter because of their infrequency? Maybe the following year, Hayden will decide to learn at home and Max will decide he wants to see what school is all about? Or maybe we'll all live on a converted tugboat. Or spend our winter becoming fluent in Spanish while living in the Bay Islands. Who knows?
One of Jon's mom's favorite sayings was "Hard to say..." I see her with her head cocked to the side, her cheek tucked in between her back teeth as she ponders this one alongside me. Hard to say...
For now, I think we can put this issue to bed and enjoy the incredible weather and the coming summer, do something that is one of my biggest challenges: live in the now.